Miss Manners: This evil woman will be at the funeral, and I need to know my options

DEAR MISS MANNERS I need to attend the funeral of a family member and I m dreading having to encounter a person who did very evil things to the deceased while they were alive taking advantage of their age and good nature Related Articles Miss Manners I backed out of their birthday trip Do I still have to pay Miss Manners All people in the DMV line were wearing pajamas I uncovered it disgusting Miss Manners It turns out I was too quick with my thank-you note Miss Manners She won t shut up about how fat I am I m months pregnant with her grandchild Miss Manners My neighbor who is not poor thinks I m her urgency pantry This person controlled the deceased poisoned her mind against her own children and leeched off her financially I cut off all contact with this person years ago and now I m afraid that I will have to face her I have no intention of initiating any conversation with her but what do I do if she initiates one with me In general she loves to act like she s a wonderful friendly person It s part of her scam Can I just turn and walk away if she approaches me She s truly an evil despicable individual Still I don t want to create a scene at a funeral GENTLE READER Not causing a scene at the funeral is a good etiquette rule to follow If this person approaches you you may say Excuse me and walk away purposefully but without any show of anger as if you were called off to deal with something urgent You can go to the bathroom for a minute if need be Miss Manners is indifferent so long as it convinces anyone watching that your departure was unrelated to the person There will if necessary be other times to make a scene DEAR MISS MANNERS At a restaurant if my food is served by someone other than my waiter and I need to request an additional or missing item e g extra sauce or sour cream do I make that request to the person who served the food Or do I wait for the waiter to come over and ask if everything is OK Does it even matter Sometimes the waiter doesn t come over for a meager minutes and I d prefer not to let my food get cold GENTLE READER Although not in the habit of being intimidated by waiters Miss Manners knows that any answer she gives will elicit a flood of responses from professionals explaining the system in use at their restaurant and why it is the only attainable key which must perforce be universally and instantly adopted Before that happens Listen up restaurant folks Related Articles Dear Abby My ex gave his dog to a family and didn t tell them about the biting Asking Eric I think my wife should stop trying to fix the kids vacation plan Harriette Cole It was funny when we googled my new boyfriend and then it wasn t Miss Manners I backed out of their birthday trip Do I still have to pay Dear Abby She s excluded from the wedding reception Do I have to warn her The customers do not know The System They are annoying and they do not know what they want and they did not order what they stated they ordered and they do not tip enough But they would like particular extra sauce before their food gets cold So here is Miss Manners answer for the customers You may ask your waiter or you may ask any member of the staff who comes to your table up to and including the head chef politely of subject If you cannot get anyone s attention in a reasonable amount of time then you may ask any employee or supervisor for help And if the restaurant is particularly busy it may take a sparse minutes Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO